nosepeople Presents

Trying to think of a good opening for  comedy routine isn’t easy.  It’s like the first sentence or two of an essay or story.  It should be a high diving board that springs you into the pool. My best opening for comedy routines was the first day of school as a teacher, and every other first day since.  When I finally realized what it was all about then I knew for sure that it was a comedy routine and eventually I began to enjoy it. Semester long comedy routines, just imagine it! With humblest apologies to parents, although I’m not quite Mr. D. (CBC reference…Jerry Dee, funny guy) or the Kotter crew (with Mr. Gabe Caplan…) I know, I know, Welcome Back Kotter was way before your time (imagine a young John Travolta with his own hair). Good day, class, my name is Mr. Max Penman… and before you get any ideas, you can call me Mr. M, Mr. P is one finger!  Write you’re name on the board….hey, not yet, I’m still introducing myself.  Hey, you! ( Pause as if checking class seating plan)Bradly, slow down on that drink there or you’re going to be Mr. P.P..  If you plan on drinking like that for my class, you better be prepared to get a round for everyone. That’s schoolhouse, pub humour. I lived in England long enough to prefer referring to those drinking places as pubs, not bars although in my early days my mom and dad would sometimes go out to one of  the local beer parlours as they were called around here, cause basically, all you could buy was watered down beer….hey waiter, drop a tray here! I’m not sure of the classroom approach.  How about current events? Would would have happened to that plane in Halifax if everyone used cell phones and the power lines were buried. Dis that guy in Germany crash the plane on purpose or was he just trying to get a better look a someone on the ground, Zat fox, sunbazing on ze roof…she looks naked…I wonder….!  Zat looks like ze car that I vant to buy tomorrow. I need a clozer look to be zure…!