nosepeople Presents

I do believe that you, dear reader,  can access the site, bur I have been having one hell of a time doing so. At the moment it seems to be working and so I’m keeping my fingers crossed, which does make it harder to type.  I will resume blogging soon but for those of you who are interested in what’s going on with the Uncollected Soul, I can hear you clamouring from here (lmao)  here it is:

The Uncollected Soul 3

Well, one of E.C’s Minions felt that the boss had suggested this movie star wannabe was a good candidate for a contract, so against all rules and believe me, countless times over the centuries, I had made it quite clear to my associates to not leave the contractual work to minions. But they wouldn’t be OUR minions, heh, heh, if they didn’t break the rules some times. Of course that’s when these mix ups happen. Cause, let’s face it Gabe, the Devil, so to speak, is in the details.

So against orders, but true to kind, E.C’’s minion took it upon herself to tie up what she thought were loose ends.

E.C’s minion went back to the supermarket found the hunk, you know him, Gary Watzisname, and told him whom she worked for and he thought there might be some star quality there. She said she could make up a contract for him if he was interested and boy was he interested? Seems it had been his lifelong dream to make movies and maybe even become a star. Of course, when the minion told him this he could hardly believe his ears. They both got really exited and in the rush of the moment, the Minion gave him the contract.

Now it’s important to clarify with the client the terms of the contract, but minions of hell are only minions and movie star wannabes are pretty focused on their goals and miss a lot of the essentials. As I said before, the devil’s in the details. She told him the contract was for 15 years but what she didn’t make clear is the actual contract is for eternity the 15 years is the service time. For 15 years he would be a movie star and a top level star to boot, lots of movies, lots of money, living large and so on. She was a little light on explaining the specifics of the contract but did tell him that the contract gave the contractor the right to revise personal characteristics to ensure success. She might have explained it as giving going blonde or gaining or losing weight to ensure success. Really, you have to admire her deviousness. Who knows what he thought this meant but he wanted to be a star, so he was willing to agree, so willing that he was ready to sign without knowing the details.

The minion who clearly was new to the job latched onto his eagerness, took his hand stabbed his index finger with the pin and told to imprint the drop of blood on the dotted line. You think he would’ve caught on by then but there was no hesitation. He put his blood imprint on the contract then asked where he had to sign. Of course there was no need, his blood was his signature she told him that and he just nodded and said, DNA, what a novel approach to signatures

When she told him to wait three days and then go out and buy clothes that fit before going to his first audition, he just continued to smile and nod his head and wrote it all carefully down in a small notebook.

 

If he didn’t twig to then, he should have after his first audition and found himself with a small, but substantial part in a kids’ movie as a gnome. At the very least, he should have noticed something when he looked in the mirror. But no, he was just so happy to get the part he couldn’t stop smiling. As soon as I heard about this, and I always hear, I knew I didn’t like that guy very much. Of course, hah, hah, who do devils like, eh! I must say, he troubled me right from the get go. I mean, smiling, and thrilled to death because he got a part. For Hecate’s sake, couldn’t he see that he went from six foot one to five foot four, gained fifteen pounds and suddenly had to wear those glasses with the huge round lenses like the bottom of a soft drink bottle, and all this happened in three days? Hell part of the fun of buying souls is to show the greedy power seekers, that they aren’t as clever and sneaky as they think they are. Let them know that at their worst, they are still only pale shadows of me. But this guy, he doesn’t even let out a groan of frustration, not one second’s lament for his past self. He’s happy, happy, happy and it’s driving us all crazy down here,  but a deal is a deal.

 

To be continued, of course, but I’ve promised more and…”a deal is a deal”

So hang in there till next time.

Max